I saw this post over at b for bel and HAD to ask the Jackalope his opinions...
1. How do you decide who to marry? Mmm... I don't know.
2. What is the right age to get married? Well, you HAVE to be a grown-up, that's for sure.
3. How can a stranger tell if two people are married? They see the rings. And sometimes, they hold hands.
4. What do people do on a date? LOTS of kissin'.
5. What would you do on a date that wasn't going so well? LEAVE. Say "Peace" [in a deep voice and throws up the peace sign] and just leave.
6. When is it okay to kiss someone? I don't know.
7. Is it better to be single or married? Single... for me, definitely single.
8. How would the world be different if people didn't get married? I don't know... well, for one thing, if people wore rings, it would just be for style.
9. How would you make a marriage good? Ugh. I don't know.... Can I go watch TV now?
Love this kid!
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Monday, August 6, 2012
Kindergarten!!!!
We took Jack to school this morning. I just want to write down a couple things so I remember how things went so far!
We bought him an alarm clock and even though he didn't go to sleep until nearly 10 p.m. last night, he woke up with his alarm and got himself dressed at 6:40! (Although, I did hear him say, "I can't. I can't," before the alarm was turned off. It's not close to the bed, either. LOL)
Jack's school has a semi-uniform - they have school polos to wear but can wear whatever bottoms they choose. I tried to talk him into shorts since it's muggy out and their classroom doesn't seem to have very good air conditioning, but he picked out new straight leg, dark jeans (they had to be dark and fairly skinny). And he insisted on wearing an undershirt - sleeveless but I still think he'll get too hot!
We got him a new haircut on Saturday - his standard faux-hawk - but he didn't want it spiked.
He was too excited to eat his waffles and sausage this morning. Poor kid. I packed a cheesestick and apple sauce in his lunch bag for morning recess snack. For lunch, he has a pb and raspberry jelly sandwich on whole wheat, crusts cut off; carrots, grape tomatoes and ranch; frozen grapes; a fruit twist snack; and a Capri-Sun.
I took some pictures of Jack in front of the house before we left. And one of all of us.
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He rode in Wayne's truck while I followed them so Wayne could go straight to work. We walked him to his class and took some more pictures. He said, "Mom, I am done with pictures." I replied, "Nope. I'm not done so you're not done. Smile." And he did.
He grabbed my hand and made me walk him over to his desk. Where I took more pictures. Then, I hugged him and he said, "Mo-om!" Wayne tried to hug him and Jack pushed him and said, "Go." He looked so big and so sure of himself. Ready to start this new adventure.
I teared up in the parking lot and Wayne asked if I was sad because I wanted Jack to miss me more. "No!" I said. "It's just a mom thing." Haha. I still can't explain it. Just... he's so big. And I'm so proud. And I love him so much. But I'm glad he's in school. He needs it. I need it. He'll do great!
Now, it's about an hour before I go pick him up. Eek!! I'm hoping to get some photos of him coming out to be picked up... and some more details to add here so I can remember every moment of this amazing day!!
Eeeek!!! He made it! I went to the wrong gate to pick him up, but it worked out - the first picture is his class, waiting to be picked up. That's Mrs. K with the big smile! The second picture is my favorite of the day. He was so happy and had an amazing day.
I took him to Josie's (self-serve fro-yo) to celebrate his first day at big boy school. We had fun talking about his day. One of his friends from class was there, so we sat with her family. I'm so excited and relieved that he is having such a positive experience in school. And very, very grateful!
We bought him an alarm clock and even though he didn't go to sleep until nearly 10 p.m. last night, he woke up with his alarm and got himself dressed at 6:40! (Although, I did hear him say, "I can't. I can't," before the alarm was turned off. It's not close to the bed, either. LOL)
Jack's school has a semi-uniform - they have school polos to wear but can wear whatever bottoms they choose. I tried to talk him into shorts since it's muggy out and their classroom doesn't seem to have very good air conditioning, but he picked out new straight leg, dark jeans (they had to be dark and fairly skinny). And he insisted on wearing an undershirt - sleeveless but I still think he'll get too hot!
We got him a new haircut on Saturday - his standard faux-hawk - but he didn't want it spiked.
He was too excited to eat his waffles and sausage this morning. Poor kid. I packed a cheesestick and apple sauce in his lunch bag for morning recess snack. For lunch, he has a pb and raspberry jelly sandwich on whole wheat, crusts cut off; carrots, grape tomatoes and ranch; frozen grapes; a fruit twist snack; and a Capri-Sun.
I took some pictures of Jack in front of the house before we left. And one of all of us.
.jpg)
He rode in Wayne's truck while I followed them so Wayne could go straight to work. We walked him to his class and took some more pictures. He said, "Mom, I am done with pictures." I replied, "Nope. I'm not done so you're not done. Smile." And he did.
He grabbed my hand and made me walk him over to his desk. Where I took more pictures. Then, I hugged him and he said, "Mo-om!" Wayne tried to hug him and Jack pushed him and said, "Go." He looked so big and so sure of himself. Ready to start this new adventure.
I teared up in the parking lot and Wayne asked if I was sad because I wanted Jack to miss me more. "No!" I said. "It's just a mom thing." Haha. I still can't explain it. Just... he's so big. And I'm so proud. And I love him so much. But I'm glad he's in school. He needs it. I need it. He'll do great!
Now, it's about an hour before I go pick him up. Eek!! I'm hoping to get some photos of him coming out to be picked up... and some more details to add here so I can remember every moment of this amazing day!!
Eeeek!!! He made it! I went to the wrong gate to pick him up, but it worked out - the first picture is his class, waiting to be picked up. That's Mrs. K with the big smile! The second picture is my favorite of the day. He was so happy and had an amazing day.
I took him to Josie's (self-serve fro-yo) to celebrate his first day at big boy school. We had fun talking about his day. One of his friends from class was there, so we sat with her family. I'm so excited and relieved that he is having such a positive experience in school. And very, very grateful!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Normal Boy? Or Sociopath in the Making?
There are days and then there are days. Today is a DAY!!!
First, I found my almost six year old covered in ash from the bbq smoker in the backyard. Which meant I also found the family room covered in ash. GRRRRR!!!!
After his shower, he cleaned the ottoman and couch. (There IS a reason to have leather furniture in the rooms kids use most!) Then, he was grounded to his room. For two reasons - 1) it's not an unheard of consequence for rule-breaking and 2) I feared for his safety. I am told I am a good mother for restraining myself from even touching the child when I found the ash mess. Apparently, the urge to go all Homer Simpson is okay, as long as you never act on it.
Then, we decided to check on him in his room - that he was supposed to be cleaning. (None of that "go to your room filled with toys so you can play and I can feel like I am giving you a consequence" for me! When I was sent to my room, I had nothing to do. So it shall be for you, my son. If you were old enough, I'd have you writing sentences by now.) What did my husband find? Our sweet son using a steak knife to cut a hole in his room darkening curtains. Curtains it took me years to find.
It was decided all toys would be banished to the office for the time being. The boy is in serious trouble now - no toys, no TV, no iPad, no nothing. "For two weeks!" boomed the man to me.
Hmmmmm. I did some quick calculations. We have four days until kindergarten starts. Two of which, the man will be at work. So that leaves me, for two full days, at home, alone, with the monster child stuck in his empty room. Wonder how that will go over....
"Hon?" I sweetly said to my darling husband. "I think we should discuss this. I agree he loses all his toys but let's not set a time just yet."
Then, the man found his football. The one the kid picked out all by himself to give to daddy for Christmas. Stabbed to death with the same steak knife, says our forensics team.
The fluff is really hitting the fan now!! Yikes!!
Tried and convicted well within the limits of House Law, the boy is found guilty and wanting of a remorseful attitude. Oh - wait. He did admit to being "scared of getting in trouble" and "sad I did that." You know, in between the football and the curtain. (Not to mention the child-sized arm chair he cut a couple months ago to hide the steak knife he stole so that he could attempt to cut open the packaging containing a toy he wanted. And the hole I found in his Green Lantern sheets that was just big enough to hide the wrappers from the stolen candy.)
Of course, I start worrying.
Is he ADHD with no impulse control? "No," says a panelist (made up of my mom friends), "just bored."
Is he a sociopath or something? "No," says the man. "I destroyed stuff when I was a kid, too." (I'm not entirely convinced that's a compelling argument, Mr. I-want-a-gun-or-a-tomahawk-for-my-birthday.)
The man says: Destroy something of the kid's to show him how it feels.
I say that's just showing him if you're bigger and/or more powerful, you can destroy things.
For now, he is grounded to his room, with all but two stuffed animals (for sleeping with) removed. He is under strict orders to reorganize the shelves in his closet - folding all the clothes and making them look neat. I have no idea what I'll do with him for the next few days. Maybe find a child psychologist to reassure me he is just bored and is not a psycho in the making??
At least he's not cutting heads off dolls or anything, right? Right????
First, I found my almost six year old covered in ash from the bbq smoker in the backyard. Which meant I also found the family room covered in ash. GRRRRR!!!!
After his shower, he cleaned the ottoman and couch. (There IS a reason to have leather furniture in the rooms kids use most!) Then, he was grounded to his room. For two reasons - 1) it's not an unheard of consequence for rule-breaking and 2) I feared for his safety. I am told I am a good mother for restraining myself from even touching the child when I found the ash mess. Apparently, the urge to go all Homer Simpson is okay, as long as you never act on it.
Then, we decided to check on him in his room - that he was supposed to be cleaning. (None of that "go to your room filled with toys so you can play and I can feel like I am giving you a consequence" for me! When I was sent to my room, I had nothing to do. So it shall be for you, my son. If you were old enough, I'd have you writing sentences by now.) What did my husband find? Our sweet son using a steak knife to cut a hole in his room darkening curtains. Curtains it took me years to find.
It was decided all toys would be banished to the office for the time being. The boy is in serious trouble now - no toys, no TV, no iPad, no nothing. "For two weeks!" boomed the man to me.
Hmmmmm. I did some quick calculations. We have four days until kindergarten starts. Two of which, the man will be at work. So that leaves me, for two full days, at home, alone, with the monster child stuck in his empty room. Wonder how that will go over....
"Hon?" I sweetly said to my darling husband. "I think we should discuss this. I agree he loses all his toys but let's not set a time just yet."
Then, the man found his football. The one the kid picked out all by himself to give to daddy for Christmas. Stabbed to death with the same steak knife, says our forensics team.
The fluff is really hitting the fan now!! Yikes!!
Tried and convicted well within the limits of House Law, the boy is found guilty and wanting of a remorseful attitude. Oh - wait. He did admit to being "scared of getting in trouble" and "sad I did that." You know, in between the football and the curtain. (Not to mention the child-sized arm chair he cut a couple months ago to hide the steak knife he stole so that he could attempt to cut open the packaging containing a toy he wanted. And the hole I found in his Green Lantern sheets that was just big enough to hide the wrappers from the stolen candy.)
Of course, I start worrying.
Is he ADHD with no impulse control? "No," says a panelist (made up of my mom friends), "just bored."
Is he a sociopath or something? "No," says the man. "I destroyed stuff when I was a kid, too." (I'm not entirely convinced that's a compelling argument, Mr. I-want-a-gun-or-a-tomahawk-for-my-birthday.)
The man says: Destroy something of the kid's to show him how it feels.
I say that's just showing him if you're bigger and/or more powerful, you can destroy things.
For now, he is grounded to his room, with all but two stuffed animals (for sleeping with) removed. He is under strict orders to reorganize the shelves in his closet - folding all the clothes and making them look neat. I have no idea what I'll do with him for the next few days. Maybe find a child psychologist to reassure me he is just bored and is not a psycho in the making??
At least he's not cutting heads off dolls or anything, right? Right????
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Say Wha?! Wednesday
Sometime in early 2012:
Jack was lecturing me about not doing something...
Jack: You might fall on your asses!!!
Jack: You might fall on your asses!!!
Later that day…
Me: Jack, do you know what an ass is?
Jack: It’s a body part.
Me: Which body part?
[Simultaneously impressed and horrified he may know the truth.]
Jack: I
dunno. Like around your chin or
something.
Randomly...
Jack: What if… I went to church and Jesus was there…
Dying on the cross?? … of our church?... [I’m scrambling to figure out what to
say, assuming he’s horrified by the thought.]
That would be funny!!
4/2012
I read The Fox and the Hound (Tod & Copper) to Jack.
At the end, it says, "Tod will always love Copper... And Copper will
always love Tod. But they know they will never play together again."
Jack says, "Mommy, that's like me and Corgan and
Keoni and Jay." (super sad face)
I say, "Yes, in a way. But it's not their job to
kill you, so that's good."
He says, "Yeahhh... that's real good."
4/27/12
While wearing an IronMan mask: “My team wears different
masks for lots of reasons. 1. It is 3D
for movies.
…
…
ACHOO!
2. It’s germ protection.
...
But I lift it up to sneeze on bad guys.
6/4/12
Jack: Dad, were you in the Army?
Wayne: Yeah
Jack: Were you a tank guy or somethin?
6/12/12
Jack has never been a good sleeper. On our last trip to Texas, he was sick and had a hard time getting comfy in his hotel bed. After I'd already passed out from exhaustion and he'd watched an hour of Wonder Pets on the iPad, he closed it and...
Jack: K, Mom. I'm gonna be out like a light bulb now.
6/14/12
We waited 2 hours to see the doctor at an urgent care clinic so while we were in the exam room, Jack grabbed some gloves and was pretending to be the doctor.
Jack: {sigh} I know... doctors get sick, too.
6/22/12
I was frustrated and being silly to ward off any grumpiness...
Me: Yippee-ki-yay!
Jack: Yippee pineapple yay!!!
More randoms...
Jack: I want a baby brother.
Me: We don't get to choose, though. Would you be mad if I had a baby girl someday?
Jack: No.
Me: Good. Because I'm praying for a girl.
Jack: I wanna pray!! [Folds hands, squeezes eyes shut.] Dear God, thank you for the food you give us. And for my house. And friends. And can you give us a baby brother? Amen!
Jack: Kings are guys that God trusted to own the world!
Wayne: I spy with my little eye something red.
Jack: Mom's chest?
(It was super hot out!)
(It was super hot out!)
Friday, December 30, 2011
Say Wha?!
So, I'm obviously not good at keeping track of what day it is. We'll just keep things random from now on. Either I'm getting slower at keeping track of Jack's little funnies or he's getting less funny but here's what I have from the past couple months. :)
10/30/2011
Wayne: Why do kids eat their boogers? It's so disgusting.
Jack: They're yummy!
Ewwwwwwwwwww
Wayne: Jack! Come here – we have to brush your teeth!
Jack (from under a blanket): Oh! You’re looking for Jack?! He’s not here. He jumped out the window and ran to Kelli’s house.
12/4/11
Jack is doing his usual whiny, obnoxious, defiant behavior before bed…
Wayne: Babe. We DEFINITELY need to have another baby.
Me: Why?
Wayne: Because this one’s not gonna make it.
Wayne: Because this one’s not gonna make it.
12/5/11
Me: Jack, what kind of juice do you want me to make tomorrow? Grape or Apple Passion Mango?
Jack: Ashin Mashin Pango!!
Jack: Ashin Mashin Pango!!
12/29/11
Jack (from the bathroom): I’m poopin up a storm in here!
12/30/11
Me (to Wayne on the phone): Jack’s been playing with the iPad all day. He needs to go clean his room.
Jack: Blah blah blah.
Me: (laughing) Your son has a smart mouth!
Jack: Well… I am pretty smart!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
WHAT is that SMELL?!?!
Last night, Wayne and I went into Jack's room to help him pick up before bed.
(Yes, he's almost 5 and should do it on his own but we're slacker parents and haven't cracked down yet. Don't be so judgy.)
Anyway - walking in, we smelled a distinctive "potty" odor. Assuming the dog had pooped, we picked up everything and couldn't find the source of the smell. By the time I was done spraying Vanilla Lysol, you couldn't smell anything malodorous. We assumed it must have been a passing whiff of little boy fart or something.
This afternoon, the smell was back with a vengeance. I could NOT find the source. On the way home from dinner, Wayne and I were discussing it...
Me: When we get home, we need to go through his room and try to find the source.
Wayne: Ugh. What do you think it is?
Me: I have no idea. Maybe we should just change his sheets?
Jack: Oh. It's probably because I peed in the trash can.
Both parents: WHAT?! YOU DID WHAT?! WHEN?!
Jack: I don't know. I was on top of my bed [a loft bed] and peed down into the trash can. It looked so cool.
[Wayne and I attempt to hide our laughter - because while thoroughly disgusting and inappropriate, the image of him doing it is kind of funny and it's HIlarious that he thinks it's "cool."]
Me: Jack - you cannot pee into the trash can. That is disgusting. You only pee in the toilet.
Wayne: [something similar to what I said]
... and so on...
We get home and it is, in fact, the peed in trash can from MONDAY that smells so bad. It didn't help matters that he'd apparently had a little accident and put undies with a little poop on them in the trash. FAAAANtastic. Really. Parenting. Funny, yet gross.
(Yes, he's almost 5 and should do it on his own but we're slacker parents and haven't cracked down yet. Don't be so judgy.)
Anyway - walking in, we smelled a distinctive "potty" odor. Assuming the dog had pooped, we picked up everything and couldn't find the source of the smell. By the time I was done spraying Vanilla Lysol, you couldn't smell anything malodorous. We assumed it must have been a passing whiff of little boy fart or something.
This afternoon, the smell was back with a vengeance. I could NOT find the source. On the way home from dinner, Wayne and I were discussing it...
Me: When we get home, we need to go through his room and try to find the source.
Wayne: Ugh. What do you think it is?
Me: I have no idea. Maybe we should just change his sheets?
Jack: Oh. It's probably because I peed in the trash can.
Both parents: WHAT?! YOU DID WHAT?! WHEN?!
Jack: I don't know. I was on top of my bed [a loft bed] and peed down into the trash can. It looked so cool.
[Wayne and I attempt to hide our laughter - because while thoroughly disgusting and inappropriate, the image of him doing it is kind of funny and it's HIlarious that he thinks it's "cool."]
Me: Jack - you cannot pee into the trash can. That is disgusting. You only pee in the toilet.
Wayne: [something similar to what I said]
... and so on...
We get home and it is, in fact, the peed in trash can from MONDAY that smells so bad. It didn't help matters that he'd apparently had a little accident and put undies with a little poop on them in the trash. FAAAANtastic. Really. Parenting. Funny, yet gross.
Say Wha?! Wednesday
I'm trying to be better about writing down the funny things but there are so many and we're usually in the middle of something. It's like when your kid does the thing that could win you the grand prize on AFV and you NEVER have the camera on!!!
Feel free to send me your kid's funniest lines and I'll post them here - if you have a blog, I'll link to you. Email me at jendecker25@yahoo.com. For now - here's what I got...
First Full Moon - June 2, 2011
At Ross, a mosquito bite on Jack's lower back itches. It's right at the waistline of his basketball shorts. He keeps pulling his pants lower to scratch it and I keep telling him he can't show his naked booty in public. He finally gets completely bored with shopping, pulls his pants completely down in the back, wags his butt at me and says, "Nah nah, nah, nah nah!!
Random (and I'm not pregnant)
Jack: If we have a baby boy, I want to name him Yoda Glock Decker.
Really? Is that what you think will happen? You've been spending too much alone time with Daddy. I got tricked into naming you after Jack Bauer of 24... there's no way I'm going with Star Wars AND a gun.
Getting in trouble for not getting dressed:
Jack: You're not being nice. Is not being nice like your job or somethin'?
Me: You are not allowed to speak to me that way. Go sit in time out. That was very rude.
Jack: You're very rude!!!
I'm sorry... when exactly did 4 year olds develop the language and attitude of teenagers?!
Driving...
Jack: So, Mom... you're gonna have to tell me what all the controls in your car do before you give it to me. Cuz I'll be all like, "Eh, I think I need to use OnStar."
He's a planner!!!
Washing machine is off balance, knocking around. Jack jumps up and says:
The washing machine is coming ALIVE!!
He did not appear frightened...
I asked if Jack wanted to go to our church's monthly playdate:
Jack: Mom! I had a playdate already this morning. Two is too much for one day.
Whew! Good thing he's keeping me in check! We'd be gettin' wild up in here!
Feel free to send me your kid's funniest lines and I'll post them here - if you have a blog, I'll link to you. Email me at jendecker25@yahoo.com. For now - here's what I got...
First Full Moon - June 2, 2011
At Ross, a mosquito bite on Jack's lower back itches. It's right at the waistline of his basketball shorts. He keeps pulling his pants lower to scratch it and I keep telling him he can't show his naked booty in public. He finally gets completely bored with shopping, pulls his pants completely down in the back, wags his butt at me and says, "Nah nah, nah, nah nah!!
Random (and I'm not pregnant)
Jack: If we have a baby boy, I want to name him Yoda Glock Decker.
Really? Is that what you think will happen? You've been spending too much alone time with Daddy. I got tricked into naming you after Jack Bauer of 24... there's no way I'm going with Star Wars AND a gun.
Getting in trouble for not getting dressed:
Jack: You're not being nice. Is not being nice like your job or somethin'?
Me: You are not allowed to speak to me that way. Go sit in time out. That was very rude.
Jack: You're very rude!!!
I'm sorry... when exactly did 4 year olds develop the language and attitude of teenagers?!
Driving...
Jack: So, Mom... you're gonna have to tell me what all the controls in your car do before you give it to me. Cuz I'll be all like, "Eh, I think I need to use OnStar."
He's a planner!!!
Washing machine is off balance, knocking around. Jack jumps up and says:
The washing machine is coming ALIVE!!
He did not appear frightened...
I asked if Jack wanted to go to our church's monthly playdate:
Jack: Mom! I had a playdate already this morning. Two is too much for one day.
Whew! Good thing he's keeping me in check! We'd be gettin' wild up in here!
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