WHAT is that SMELL?!?!

Last night, Wayne and I went into Jack's room to help him pick up before bed. 

(Yes, he's almost 5 and should do it on his own but we're slacker parents and haven't cracked down yet.  Don't be so judgy.) 

Anyway - walking in, we smelled a distinctive "potty" odor.  Assuming the dog had pooped, we picked up everything and couldn't find the source of the smell.  By the time I was done spraying Vanilla Lysol, you couldn't smell anything malodorous.  We assumed it must have been a passing whiff of little boy fart or something. 

This afternoon, the smell was back with a vengeance.  I could NOT find the source.  On the way home from dinner, Wayne and I were discussing it...

Me: When we get home, we need to go through his room and try to find the source. 
Wayne: Ugh.  What do you think it is?
Me: I have no idea.  Maybe we should just change his sheets?
Jack: Oh.  It's probably because I peed in the trash can.
Both parents: WHAT?! YOU DID WHAT?!  WHEN?!
Jack: I don't know.  I was on top of my bed [a loft bed] and peed down into the trash can.  It looked so cool.
[Wayne and I attempt to hide our laughter - because while thoroughly disgusting and inappropriate, the image of him doing it is kind of funny and it's HIlarious that he thinks it's "cool."]
Me: Jack - you cannot pee into the trash can.  That is disgusting.  You only pee in the toilet.
Wayne: [something similar to what I said]
... and so on...

We get home and it is, in fact, the peed in trash can from MONDAY that smells so bad.  It didn't help matters that he'd apparently had a little accident and put undies with a little poop on them in the trash.  FAAAANtastic.  Really.  Parenting.  Funny, yet gross. 

Say Wha?! Wednesday

I'm trying to be better about writing down the funny things but there are so many and we're usually in the middle of something.  It's like when your kid does the thing that could win you the grand prize on AFV and you NEVER have the camera on!!!

Feel free to send me your kid's funniest lines and I'll post them here - if you have a blog, I'll link to you.  Email me at jendecker25@yahoo.com.  For now - here's what I got...

First Full Moon - June 2, 2011
At Ross, a mosquito bite on Jack's lower back itches.  It's right at the waistline of his basketball shorts.  He keeps pulling his pants lower to scratch it and I keep telling him he can't show his naked booty in public.  He finally gets completely bored with shopping, pulls his pants completely down in the back, wags his butt at me and says, "Nah nah, nah, nah nah!!

Random (and I'm not pregnant)
Jack: If we have a baby boy, I want to name him Yoda Glock Decker.
Really?  Is that what you think will happen?  You've been spending too much alone time with Daddy.  I got tricked into naming you after Jack Bauer of 24... there's no way I'm going with Star Wars AND a gun.  

Getting in trouble for not getting dressed:
Jack: You're not being nice.  Is not being nice like your job or somethin'?
Me: You are not allowed to speak to me that way.  Go sit in time out.  That was very rude.
Jack: You're very rude!!!
I'm sorry... when exactly did 4 year olds develop the language and attitude of teenagers?!

Driving...
Jack: So, Mom... you're gonna have to tell me what all the controls in your car do before you give it to me.  Cuz I'll be all like, "Eh, I think I need to use OnStar."
He's a planner!!!

Washing machine is off balance, knocking around.  Jack jumps up and says:
The washing machine is coming ALIVE!!   
He did not appear frightened... 

I asked if Jack wanted to go to our church's monthly playdate:
Jack: Mom!  I had a playdate already this morning.  Two is too much for one day.
Whew!  Good thing he's keeping me in check!  We'd be gettin' wild up in here!