Say WHA?!?!

I should totally be posting a birthday party recap but am just. too. tired to deal with the pictures and whatnot.

So... I'm starting a new thing wherein I'll bring to you, weekly (hopefully?), a random list of funny things Jack has said.

Saturday morning, at Caffe Ole for breakfast:
J: Mom? I'm sick.
Me: Really? Oh, I'm sorry. How are you sick? What feels bad?
J: My life.

Approximately same time/place:
J: When you make kids cry, you RUIN THEIR LIVES.
Me: Oh yeah?
J: Yeah... you and Daddy ruin my life all the time.
Me: (stifling laughter) Aw. That's sad. Do we make you cry a lot?
J: Yeah. And my dreams are all RUINED FOREVER BECAUSE OF YOU.

After dinner, not too long before bedtime:
J: Mom! I know! I could have a Popsicle for dessert!!
Me: There's no dessert tonight, Jack. We don't have to have dessert every night.
J: Yuh-huh, MOM! That's what God wants!

While Erin was watching him for us:
J: Erin, yeahhh, I might have to move to Texas.
E: What? You can't move to Texas. Then I won't be there.
J: Wellll, you can move wif me.
E: But Bill has to have a job there.
J: It's okay, Erin... my dad can work and make money for allll of us.

Out and about:
J: [mumble mumble]
Me: What? I can't understand you when you mumble.
J: I was mumbling to MYSELF! When I mumble to myself, then I can understand myself.

Just about every single day lately:
Me: Jack, pick up toys/put your dishes in the sink/go to bed/don't jump on that... {You get the point.}
J: [pointing at me, yelling] You're not the boss! God is the boss! And God wants me to do whatever I want!
Me: You are not in charge. You are NOT in charge. YOU. are NOT. IN CHARGE, Jack Avery Decker.
J: You are NOT my friend, ANYMORE! You are MEAN and I am MAD at you! HUMPH! [folds arms and stomps]
Me: That's fine. You're still my son.
J: Nuh-uh! Not anymore! I am NOT your son, anymore!
Me: Hahahahahahaha!!!! Oh yes you are, little man. You can't get away from me! You are stuck with me FOREVER!! :)