Normal Boy? Or Sociopath in the Making?

There are days and then there are days.  Today is a DAY!!!


First, I found my almost six year old covered in ash from the bbq smoker in the backyard.  Which meant I also found the family room covered in ash.  GRRRRR!!!!

After his shower, he cleaned the ottoman and couch.  (There IS a reason to have leather furniture in the rooms kids use most!)  Then, he was grounded to his room.  For two reasons - 1) it's not an unheard of consequence for rule-breaking and 2) I feared for his safety.  I am told I am a good mother for restraining myself from even touching the child when I found the ash mess.  Apparently, the urge to go all Homer Simpson is okay, as long as you never act on it.

Then, we decided to check on him in his room - that he was supposed to be cleaning.  (None of that "go to your room filled with toys so you can play and I can feel like I am giving you a consequence" for me!  When I was sent to my room, I had nothing to do.  So it shall be for you, my son.  If you were old enough, I'd have you writing sentences by now.)  What did my husband find?  Our sweet son using a steak knife to cut a hole in his room darkening curtains.  Curtains it took me years to find.

It was decided all toys would be banished to the office for the time being.  The boy is in serious trouble now - no toys, no TV, no iPad, no nothing.  "For two weeks!" boomed the man to me.

Hmmmmm.  I did some quick calculations. We have four days until kindergarten starts.  Two of which, the man will be at work.  So that leaves me, for two full days, at home, alone, with the monster child stuck in his empty room.  Wonder how that will go over....

"Hon?" I sweetly said to my darling husband.  "I think we should discuss this.  I agree he loses all his toys but let's not set a time just yet."

Then, the man found his football.  The one the kid picked out all by himself to give to daddy for Christmas.  Stabbed to death with the same steak knife, says our forensics team.

The fluff is really hitting the fan now!!  Yikes!!

Tried and convicted well within the limits of House Law, the boy is found guilty and wanting of a remorseful attitude.  Oh - wait.  He did admit to being "scared of getting in trouble" and "sad I did that."  You know, in between the football and the curtain.  (Not to mention the child-sized arm chair he cut a couple months ago to hide the steak knife he stole so that he could attempt to cut open the packaging containing a toy he wanted.  And the hole I found in his Green Lantern sheets that was just big enough to hide the wrappers from the stolen candy.)

Of course, I start worrying.

Is he ADHD with no impulse control?  "No," says a panelist (made up of my mom friends), "just bored."

Is he a sociopath or something?  "No," says the man.  "I destroyed stuff when I was a kid, too."  (I'm not entirely convinced that's a compelling argument, Mr. I-want-a-gun-or-a-tomahawk-for-my-birthday.)

The man says: Destroy something of the kid's to show him how it feels.

I say that's just showing him if you're bigger and/or more powerful, you can destroy things.

For now, he is grounded to his room, with all but two stuffed animals (for sleeping with) removed.  He is under strict orders to reorganize the shelves in his closet - folding all the clothes and making them look neat.  I have no idea what I'll do with him for the next few days.  Maybe find a child psychologist to reassure me he is just bored and is not a psycho in the making??

At least he's not cutting heads off dolls or anything, right?  Right????